Are you trying to swim like a fish?

'You don't have to swim like a fish; that's not possible. Just learn to swim.' This was a response my heart offered me a few years ago that still keeps me going. This statement helped me to be kinder to myself when I couldn't meet my own standards or things weren't up to the mark. We were never meant to swim like fish, and yet every day we try hard to fit in. We allow others, as well as ourselves, to condemn us for not being a particular way.

 
What makes things worse is hating yourself for not being able to do something perfectly and then not trying or attempting that thing again because of fear of doing it wrong, or rather, giving up on trying something because we believe we won't be able to do it as well as others. This eventually causes regret as to why we gave up without trying. For such situations, I had come to modify the earlier statement to say, "Why worry about swimming like the fish when you can do a backstroke, freestyle, or butterfly". Fish are created to function that way, and humans are created the other way. So why do we want to interchange roles, or rather, do something we weren't designed to do? Why do we chase perfection when it doesn't exist?



We need to understand that we are all on our own journey, and this journey is not the same for everyone. The hurdles are different, and most importantly, we are all designed differently. Something that I read on the net and that has stayed with me ever since is that we are not in the same ship; we are in the same storm; not all of us are sailing in a ship; some are holding to logs; some are in a boat; some are in a floating tube; some are swimming, trying to reach the nearest raft of any form of support. It's very important for us to recognize when our need for perfection hinders or stands between us and something we want to do. We also need to be conscious that we do not denigrate others for their mistakes and instead participate in constructive criticism.

 
A lot of individuals are missing out on opportunities and experiences every day because of this attitude or thinking that society has conditioned us to learn. Unlearning this is difficult, but not impossible. It's important to recognize and take little steps towards unlearning this thinking. No one was born with mastery over anything; we are learning and evolving beings. Everyday is a new learning experience, and our mistakes are lessons to learn from. Let's allow ourselves to try and learn whenever possible, because true growth comes from learning. After all, you will learn to swim only if you get into the water.

                                                                               

-Alloysha Dias 

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Picture credit: Rachel Annie Dias