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You are not the Sun

You are not the sun. It's unrealistic to believe you can and will show up hundred percent every day. That's not how you were designed; that's not how any person was designed. The sun appears full of energy every day, irrespective of the clouds. You can't and you don't have to show up fully always. Neither you nor your days are the same every day, and so you don't have to show up the same, at your best, every day in life and in your relationships. If you are able to do so consistently, there's a good chance you're compromising on yourself, your values, or your passions, which won't allow you to live authentically.


It's not surprising that this doesn't make sense to many of you reading this, but think of it this way: too much sun will make a desert. So, you need the rain to keep it balanced, to keep it from becoming unlivable. Accepting this isn't easy, especially if you're brought up to believe that not showing up hundred percent means you're not enough. But the truth is, you are not the sun. You are the moon – imperfect, with phases every day, just like the moon. You're not meant to show up the same every day, and the people who matter can accept and see your beauty in those phases.


The same is true for relationships. No relationship is fifty-fifty all the time. The way each individual or partner shows up in different ways and at different levels every day in their individual lives, we show up differently every day in our relationships. This may or may not be proportionate. Some days it'll be fifty-fifty, some days seventy-thirty, and some days the dynamics may be uneven, like thirty-thirty or even ten-eighty. Where you don't meet at a midpoint, when efforts feel heavy. These are the hardest days. We expect ourselves and everyone to meet us perfectly in our relationships, to have a proportionate relationship, whether it's with parents, friends, siblings, partners, etc. But sometimes our human nature doesn't allow us to stretch further.


It's essential to learn to give others space and live with that space for a bit. If it continues to persist, there may be something to be concerned about. But giving space occasionally is okay. And if it concerns you, communication can definitely help.






–Alloysha Dias 









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