The quote "A canola flower never blooms alone, they bloom in a bunch." by Oh Ae-sun, the female protagonist from ' when life gives you tangerines' stood out to me. Back in Undergrad, one of my professors had said, "you are born alone and you die alone". It seemed so obvious, she further added that ofcourse you will have people in your life on the way, but in the end you do it all alone. So learn to be your person. Most of us take the latter as a absolute truth, I did it for sometime as well. Preparing myself to not have help. To do it all alone. And honestly it did help me get through some days. But, I did not come into this world with infinite energy and capabilities. I needed people.
Ofcourse I am born alone and I will die alone, no one is going to be there every moment with me. But even as I was born there were doctors and nurses assuring I was born safely, there were parents teaching me to walk, talk, read, write, love. There were siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins who kept checking on me. There were friends and teachers in school and college who stood beside me and made the stress melt for a bit. And even when I die, there will be people who will carry my body and laying it 6 feet down. Such a irony life is to be alone in it and yet to have people with you almost half the time.
When I moved states to study, I thought this is a new journey, I walk alone. I won't have the people I always did. They will definitely be there in spirit but not physically. They would have their own lives, different from mine. And that doesn't mean they stop rooting for me or they stop caring for me. It just means we are growing and hopefully so will the relationships. But when this journey really started I found myself not only leaning back on them, but also finding new people.
I slowly understood the other side of the coin, but never completely. I guess I needed someone to say it out loud enough to understand that nothing in this life is as simple as black and white. To remember that there is balance, that there is grey is important.
If you ever learn to balance these two truth in your life than that is what I would call power. Not all can manage balance, I have met individuals who need people or want people and I have met others who have carried their life on their back alone and continue to do so. When referring to these two types of people I don't mean that they couldn't do it the other way around, they just relied less on the others or the other way round because of whatever reason. There is no right or wrong way of living. You just do what suits you best.
— Alloysha Dias
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