Skip to main content

It is a broken world.

We live in a broken world, with broken and hurt people. And it might continue to be broken until the end of humanity. Because broken people break people; broken people will unknowingly or knowingly go on to break, hurt and tear others down; and then the cycle goes on. Various psychological research has found evidence repeatedly that a broken traumatic experience hardens people. To the extent that they may become criminals. No one is born that way. We are made that way; by life, by people, by experiences…

 


 No, you do not only hurt someone physically, or verbally. There is indirect hurts that take form in the way we deny others their love for us. Or their right to love us. The very first hurt caused by one human to another in the bible was by Cain when he killed his brother Abel out of jealousy, or maybe because he felt hurt that, nothing he did pleased the lord yet everything Abel did somehow pleased God. His hurt turned into jealousy which led to the first murder in the Bible. Most people condemn or find Cain’s act shocking because Abel was his own brother, his own blood. Ironically all of us continue to hurt our closest people every day or, the most. It comes easier to us to be our worst and blunt self with our closest than the people we may not consider close.

 The hurt however does not justify his action or our actions. I believe, feelings are valid, nothing and no one can deny our feelings. But our actions cannot be justified. If we have healthy cognitive abilities, our actions are our responsibility and our choice. And so, choosing to heal your hurts and brokenness is the most difficult choice to make. It is a brave one because healing is not simple. Definitely not like the typical aesthetic pictures on Pinterest. It's dark, arduous; it's walking into the same dark room you locked away for years, it's like trying to put back pieces of your shattered self with naked hands while the cement you use is eating into your skin, it's like trying to smoothen the sharp broken edges of glass with your bare hands. It cuts, it bleeds, it hurts. But eventually you find the light, the edges become smooth.

 I once read on the internet that someone who has been hit by a bullet, will always be traumatized by it, the thought of it, the pain it caused. The bruise it leaves is the reminder of how the bullet once burnt into the skin, and the feeling is always fresh. Such is the impact of the hurts that break us. It drills a fear into our soul. And so, in my little experience I have found that you may be independent simply because you want to be, or you may be driven by your fear that associates dependency with hurt. You may be an extrovert because you really like engaging with people or because you fear being alone because that is when the darkness engulfs you. You may genuinely like being alone, or you just do not want to feel rejected, left out or unwanted again. What we do and what we choose hold knowledge, about ourselves and our fears. And this knowledge can be used for growth and healing. If used effectively it will teach you how to set boundaries, when to step back, when to stop.

 If you are human, As long as you live and not just survive (for you can go on to breathe and be alive and still be dead on the inside), you will be hurt both emotionally and physically. It is unavoidable. The life skill that will help you to continue to be, the feeling and living human you are meant to be is healing.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

-Alloysha Dias                                                                                                                                                                                              





                                       ............................................................................                                                                                                                                                                                                          

  Picture credit: Alloysha Dias                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Roots or Wings?

 "Wings are important but so are the roots", said the dean of my college in her speech at one of the department functions. This led my classmate sitting beside me to ask, "what do you think is more important, wings or roots?" And all I said was "both". But that question stayed with me. As I lay in bed and reflected over my day the question came back to me. I couldn't pick one, but there was one image in the back of my mind. A flock of birds migrating. Maybe it was the word ‘wings’ that brought that image, but when I was thinking about the question, I remembered that although family or in this case my roots are a very strong value to me, I chose wings and the only thing I could relate it to was migrating birds. Birds choose to migrate when there is a lack of chances of survival. They migrate when the climate in their current living situation gets hard to live in or when the availability of food gets uncertain. They move to lands where they believe there...
Post a Comment
Read more

Life never stops bowling

In december last year someone said, "welcome to adulthood, it only goes downhill from here". I didn't really give much thought to it. But lately as I reflect on the new relization that has dawned on me, those words keep coming back. Life feels like a cricket field lately. Especially when you reach your last year of college. All your childhood and teenage life, while playing gully cricket, all you can think of and want to do is playing in the big stadium. But when the upgrade happens, you get nervous. It feels scary. What makes it more scary is that, life is the bowler. And when you think it specialiazes only in spinning, it will start throwing you yokers. And when you just get used to yokers, it sends you some googly balls. If you think it has only three tricks up its sleeves trust me you are mistaken.  Life keeps upgrading it's bowling skills. And if you think someday you'll be in the stands or on the bowling side, here is something I realised and I would want to...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Refraction theory

As a kid, I was always fascinated by rainbows. I saw them as a promise of better days to come, a reminder that things will get better and the future is bright. Growing up in Goa, my siblings and I would get excited spotting a rainbow in the sky after the rains. Monsoons weren't so bad after all! Rainbows have always amazed me. In the 10th standard, however, this phenomenon gave me a new lens to look at life and myself. As my science teacher taught us how rainbows are formed after the rain through the refraction of light, a philosophical interpretation popped up in my head. While my classmates listened, some doodling in their textbooks, I couldn't help but draw inspiration from the rainbow. All I could think about the whole time and perhaps the entire day was how, if one simple ray of sunlight can refract into seven beautiful colors, then won't I, being human, too have unimaginable capacity, potential, and talent? How could we limit ourselves or others to specific categories...
Post a Comment
Read more